Sunday, February 03, 2008
Sports, "Hunt's Grunts"

Is Tuesday Super or Fat?

 

By Hunt Archbold

Hmmm, after all this time I thought Super Tuesday was some sort of ESPN programming involving college hoops. But a quick check shows this week’s Super Tuesday TV lineup includes a game featuring a 15-loss Michigan team, so how super can that be? Of course, the real Super Tuesday this week involves Georgia and 23 other states that will be staging presidential primaries or caucuses. I will be voting and I encourage everyone to do the same, as our society is best served if every citizen votes. At least that’s what The Fiery Furnaces’ brother-sister duo of Eleanor and Matthew Friedberger instructed at their super-duper show last week at the Variety Playhouse. And I agree.

And I’m of the thinking that this 2008 presidential election is more like a sport, as well. At least in terms of the sports metaphors that are being bandied about: “Out of the gate,’’ “this is a marathon’’ and “going right down to the buzzer’’ are just a few examples of the clichés that have been uttered by candidates and political observers alike. And recently, CNN political contributor Roland Martin offered this gem when discussing the Democratic primaries: “I sort of view this campaign as a NASCAR race. You have two fast cars. What does it come down to? Strategy. Do I pit? Do I do two tires? Four tires?’’

Two tires or four? That’s what’s involved in our country’s election for the next leader of the free world? Whoa. But a presidential race does involve a multitude of decisions and heck, you can even place a wager on who will win come Nov. 4. On Team Donkey, Hillary Clinton is at 5:4 while Barack Obama is 5:2. With the Red Elephants, it’s John McCain (2:1), followed by Mitt Romney (10:1) and Mike Huckabee (60:1). Obviously, the likes of Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson and Dennis Kucinich are all off the board, while those looking to burn money can grab Ron Paul at 100:1. I might deal with my issues with Mr. Paul at a later date, but not today, partly because my editor says I have to keep the topic to sports. And before I get back to that subject, I gotta say that thanks to my über-amiga Melanie Z, I now know that the turkey melt at the Righteous Room is one of the best sandwiches in the city.

So who would I like to see emerge as the big winner on Super Tuesday? Well, I’d have to say the loyal fans of the Thrashers and Hawks, who have been tied to the whipping post year after year after year by these underachieving professional franchises. One of the presidential campaign themes is centered around the idea of change, and there’s no denying the fact that there need to be several changes at Philips Arena.

Hopefully, that will happen this week. First with the Hawks, who, as I’ve noted before, are in the midst of the longest playoff drought in the NBA at eight seasons and counting. Bottom line is that despite a solid December, Atlanta laid a big fat egg in the month of January (4-11), and it’s time for Mike Woodson to be shown the door.

The most recent 1-4 West Coast swing should be the kicker. The team finished the trip by being totally non-competitive in a 32-point loss at Phoenix, and then failing miserably to bounce back the following night against a significantly undermanned Clippers team that had dropped 15 of its previous 19 games. It’s clear to see that the Hawks players are not responding to Woodson, who in three-plus seasons in Atlanta has a horrific record of 87-201. We keep hearing how young they are, but Portland’s roster is younger and that team is clicking. And when Woodson goes, general manager Billy Knight should be not be too far behind.

Knight has flat-out failed to get this job done. Sheldon Williams? He scored a total of two baskets in January. The No. 5 pick in the 2006 draft (one spot ahead of Portland point guard Brandon Roy, last year’s rookie of the year and a budding superstar) is officially a bust. Atlanta’s point guard position has been in dire need of help for many years, yet Knight passed on both Chris Paul (Hornets) and Deron Williams (Jazz) in the 2005 draft; those two players, barring injury, will be superstar performers in the league for years to come. News flash for Knight: Solid point guard play in the NBA is important to winning. After the impending all-star break, the Hawks are set to embark on another difficult five-game West Coast trip. Here’s hoping Woodson isn’t calling the plays.

Now on the ice: The Thrashers need some shaking up, too. First, Marian Hossa needs to go. It’s obvious by his body language and the lack of conviction in his words that the unrestricted free agent no longer wants to stay in Atlanta. The Thrashers should move him before the trade deadline expires later this month so the team can recoup something. If not, he’ll still sign elsewhere in the summer and Atlanta will receive nothing in return. Also, it’s time for Don Waddell to move back upstairs and let Brad McCrimmon, recently named the team’s associate head coach, take over the club. Sources inside the organization indicate that the team responds well to McCrimmon’s coaching tactics, but he doesn’t get enough opportunity as Waddell won’t let go. He needs to, and when he gets upstairs, Waddell should figure out why the Thrashers and their AHL affiliate, the Chicago Wolves, don’t even employ the same kind of system. How much sense does that make? Not much, in my opinion.

So Super Tuesday is upon us. Yet as soon as I cast my ballot, Super Tuesday for me will quickly turn to Fat Tuesday, which I will be celebrating at Collier Road’s Big Easy Grille. Claude, Tim and the rest of the crazy cast there are throwing a Mardi Gras party from 3 p.m. ’til close featuring live music, drink specials and of course, plenty of crawfish. Sounds just super, folks.

Happy times … and even though I’m not Catholic, I am giving up Jäger for Lent. SP