Sunday, March 16, 2008
Food, Wine, Beer & Spirits
Millionaire
Put your mouth where your money is
Drinking is so money.
By Jason Tesauro and Phineas Mollod
Forbes magazine recently announced its list of the world’s billionaires, declaring that Warren Buffet’s $62 billion net worth was tops, having eclipsed Bill Gates’ paltry $58 billion third-place finish. Should Buffett scuttle his plans to give away 85 percent of his money to charity, there’s plenty of cash to buy enough wine to fill one enormous cellar (and think of the utility bills to keep it all at 59 degrees). Sixty-two billion dollars could buy 1,614,583,333 cases of André Brut at the case-discount price of $3.20/bottle, or about 31,155,778,894 half-bottles of Mogen David (Mad Dog) 20/20 Banana Red at $1.99/pop. Of course, Mr. Buffett might seek higher-end juice, such as a classic 1945 Bordeaux, boutique California vintage, or get into the so-called billionaire’s vinegar, the 1787 Chateau Lafite that may have belonged to Thomas Jefferson, which went for around $160,000 at auction before the dried-up cork fell into the neck of the spoilt wine.
For those with good taste but considerable less capital, there is always the Millionaire cocktail and a litany of libations suited to a champagne tastes on a high-ball budget. Part of cocktail culture is the role-playing fantasy of drink. What gent hasn’t once ordered a martini directly after viewing a Bond flick and pretended to be a double oh on assignment? Or, name a swinging single lady who never treated a cosmopolitan as a genetic on-switch to her inner Carrie Bradshaw? Thus, whether you look like a million, feel like a million, just made your first million, or lost a million as a slipshod day trader, belly up to the bar, whip out your money clip, and sip away.
Millionaire
- 1 1/2 ounces dark rum
- 3/4 ounce sloe gin
- 3/4 ounces apricot brandy
- 1 ounce lime juice
Shake over ice, and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with lime wheel.
Popular among NBA fat cats fresh from a signing bonus, the Rolls Royce and Bentley remain status symbols for the sweat-suited elite, whether the pro athlete or retiree variety. Thus, if your bumper sticker still reads: “My other car is a piece of %$#@, too,” treat yourself to these premium imports that won’t mandate a luxury tax. And think of all the money you’ll save on chauffeur salaries.
Rolls Royce Cocktail
- ½ gin
- ¼ dry vermouth
- ¼ sweet vermouth
- 1 dash Benedictine
Stir with ice, and strain into a cocktail glass.
Bentley Cocktail
Stir with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.
For those born with a spork in their mouth, converted to silver only after earning street smarts and entrepreneurial stripes as an over-achieving go-getter, there’s the Self-Starter Cocktail: a respectable gin-based drink with enough trendy Lillet and apricot brandy sweetness to identify you as nouveau riche, but with a wild dash of absinthe that stands for your nerve.
Self-Starter Cocktail
- ½ gin
- 3/8 lillet
- 1/8 apricot brandy
- 2 dashes absinthe
Stir with ice, and strain into a cocktail glass.
Is the Man keeping you down? With April 15 on the horizon, H&R Block open late and the latest version of TurboTax promising higher, faster returns, here’s one write-off we can all take. The Income Tax Cocktail’s balance of dry and sweet vermouth and restrained use of bitters evinces a measure of sensibility and—with no ingredients breaking the bank—perhaps a fiscal responsibility to live high but spend low. Heck, in tough times, you can even substitute a dollar store packet of flavored orange drink when true citrus is out of the grocery budget.
Income Tax Cocktail
- ½ gin
- ¼ sweet vermouth
- ¼ dry vermouth
- Juice of ¼ orange
- 1 dash of Angostura bitters
Shake with ice, and strain into a cocktail glass. SP
Phineas and Jason are the authors of “The Modern Gentleman” and “The Modern Lover.” E-mail them at booze@sundaypaper.com.