Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sports, "Hunt's Grunts"

Addressing Dressing Up

Hunt Archbold on politics, Halloween, and Gators in jean shorts

Hunt Archbold

“Today, when our national strength is being tested at every point, this tradition takes on added urgency. Our nation’s economy can ill afford to waste the talent and abilities of any individual because of discrimination against him on the basis of his race, his color, or his creed. Every citizen who helps to make legal and economic equality a living fact, is helping America.”

Those comments from a great American statesman come to mind as we prepare to elect our 44th president. But first things first: A recent survey by Shop.com indicated that one in three respondents planned to celebrate Halloween as an opportunity to escape the daily concerns of a weakening economy and the outcome of the presidential election. Searching for a costume idea? Try jean shorts and a sleeveless orange T-shirt and you’re fit for any Florida Gator social occasion.

Sifting through clothes to give away rece4ntly, I came across my dear old prairie skirt. Oh, the memories that came rushing, memories of star-filled nights filled with music and square-dancing in that beautiful lace-trimmed number that would puff outward when I was still, but would twirl around as I breezed across the floor. Actually, that’s not true: The skirt was a gift many Halloweens ago that I have since adorned sporadically in parades, parties and other occasions that call for a man to wear a skirt.

Which brings me to this: Why do so many women dress like dirty pirate hookers, nurses and Sarah Palin lookalikes, complete with star-spangled bikini and Miss Alaska pageant sash this time of year? Is it a time when they can reveal a hidden desire without being judged? And cannot the same be said for all the men who enjoy gallivanting around in drag? Why not just be yourself 365 days a year?

That’s the ideal Mike Penner expressed a year and a half ago when the then-49-year-old veteran sportswriter for the Los Angeles Times announced in his column that he was a transsexual and would now be known as Christine Daniels. “As extensive therapy and testing have confirmed, my brain was wired female,” he wrote. I will say that such a characteristic would at times come in handy, such as a month or so ago when my significant other posed the question, “Hypothetically, if you cheated on me, would you tell me, or would you not tell me and hope I wouldn’t find out?” Really?

There were later reports from Penner’s colleagues of social evenings where the once introspective Penner would be most outgoing as Daniels, karaoke-ing Diana Ross tunes. Still, there’s nothing reported to suggest that Penner would dress in drag while covering events, or if he even attended games or practices. Makes me wonder what would happen if I decided to go by “Huntalina,” applied lipstick and a wig, and marched in three-inch heels down to Turner Field and asked Bobby Cox how long he intended to manage like Earl Weaver, depending too much on hopeful effective starting pitching and the timely three-run homer.

Still, people have been cross-dressing for ages. At least 400 Civil War soldiers were women in drag. Polish sprinter Stanislawa Walasiewicz (aka Stella Walsh), who set 11 world records and won the 100 meters at the 1932 Olympics with what one official described as “long, man-like strides,” died in 1980, whereupon it was revealed that she had indeed been a man. The play “M. Butterfly” is based on true accounts of a love affair involving cross-dressing and espionage.

I grew up laughing at comedian Flip Wilson as Geraldine, and last month I went to a play where four male actors hysterically pulled off back-to-back, straight-from-the-script episodes of “The Golden Girls.” Men dressing as women is funny, in a sophomoric way. And if a dude wants to dress as a female all the time, what do I care? You go, girl! Really, in light of “Brokeback Mountain,” maybe there’s more than meets the eye to all those cowboys we see on All Hallows Eve.

The quote at the beginning of this column was from Dwight D. Eisenhower on the announcement of Equal Opportunity Day, which observes its 51st anniversary next month. That same day will be the 145th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, the famous speech that begins, “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

And those two anniversaries will come about two weeks after our new president is elected. It’s been a long and at times bitterly divided campaign that has left our country even more fractured. But here’s hoping that with a new leader, we can begin the process of coming together, to be more accepting of those who are different, in accordance with the merits that are within each and every one of us. Not an easy trick to pull off, but what a treat it would be for all of us. 

Happy times … and this month, a fickle Daniels said she/he again wished to be known as Penner. SP