To Torn

You were right the first time; she is psycho, or as you suspect, bipolar. Your descriptions of her behavior — super hot, smart, sexy, changing moods, going over the edge, drunk — those are all red flags of bipolar.

The general public doesn’t seem aware that a large percentage of alcoholism and drug addiction is closely related to undiagnosed mental illness, like bipolar and schizophrenia. The alcohol and drugs is actually a form of self-medication; they are trying to make themselves feel ‘normal’. Unfortunately, because of what they don’t know about themselves, they don’t know that the alcohol and drugs will not get them anywhere near normal.

There’s only one two-step process that will help her, none of which you can do. First, she needs to stop drinking. Forever. Period. Second, she needs serious therapy from a psychiatrist (a doctor qualified to diagnose and treat mental illness) who specializes in substance abuse. The only drugs she needs, if any, are real drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist. Some patients can get by with therapy alone.

The only thing for you to do now is your own two-step process. First, encourage her that she needs serious help as soon as possibly. Second, you need to move on because you cannot help her, especially if she doesn’t get help. However, if she does get help, and you’re one of those dummies who insist on hanging around, you might as well cool your heels because it will take her quite a while — months — before she’s ready to function in a healthy relationship with anyone, including you. Also, be advised that after she finishes all her therapy and give up drinking, she may no longer be the same smart, super hot, scorching sex that you to whom you were so attracted.

To Worried Bride,

Of course, you will make your best friend Cindy your maid of honor. She’s already earned that.

If your sister, Karen, accepts make her your matron of honor. Many brides have a maid and a matron of honor. Although the matron is usually someone married, Karen, is six year your elder; that qualifies as a matron. Just for good measure, ask tom if he has one or two friends that might appeal to Karen that he’s willing to invite or even be groomsman. Promise the guy some little bribe to pay extra attention to Karen .of course, that part you must keep strictly between the two of you.

And, keeping your mother occupied is important. Pick out some big annoying task that you prefer not doing yourself, and insist that she’s the only one who can do this for you. That will keep her out of your hair while you and your intended focus on the rest to the Big day.

To Worried Bride,

Of course, you will make your best friend Cindy your maid of honor. She’s already earned that.

If your sister, Karen, accepts make her your matron of honor. Many brides have a maid and a matron of honor. Although the matron is usually someone married, Karen, is six year your elder; that qualifies as a matron. Just for good measure, ask tom if he has one or two friends that might appeal to Karen that he’s willing to invite or even be groomsman. Promise the guy some little bribe to pay extra attention to Karen .Of course, that part you must keep strictly between the two of you.

And, keeping your mother occupied is important. Pick out some big annoying task that you prefer not doing yourself, and insist that she’s the only one who can do this for you. That will keep her out of your hair while you and your intended focus on the rest to the Big day.